Friday, June 27, 2008

Four Secrets To Overcome Resistance To Change

In life one thing is constant... change is going to happen! Everyone desire change and change is inevitable, so why is it difficult for so many people? The process of change in our lives can lead us toward growth and fulfillment if we learn how to cooperate with this unyielding force. When we partner with this force of evolution we can take a quantum leap in our lives. In this article you'll discover why you resist change and the four secrets to move beyond your resistance to create positive change in your life.

When we reach for change, a part of us naturally recoils and resists. If the recoiling is stronger than our reach, we experience stagnation. If we resist change too much we'll experience struggle, frustration and procrastination. During major crossroads in our lives, such as mid life crisis it is wise to surrender to change rather than resist it. If we accept that change is inevitable we can build an alliance and experience greater freedom and success.

The 1st Secret: Seek growth rather than change. Growth is the process of reaching fo1A34r something new while releasing the old. Growth always leads to positive change in our lives. Whether that is a new relationship, a new belief or a new experience, growth leads to genuine change as it shifts from the old to embrace the new. Growth is the foundation for evolution and challenges you to become more in some area of your life. Growth always produces change; but change does not always produce growth. Growth is about evolving and becoming more of who you are meant to be.

Tip: Are the changes you desire about becoming more? Look at the changes you want to make, to determine if they are a growth choice (becoming more) or a fear choice (becoming less).

The 2nd Secret: Genuine Change involves your emotions. Some people only seek physical changes. They want to change the physical forms in their life without changing the feelings. Erroneously they think this new form will make them feel a particular way. When change is only about changing the physical (new haircut, wardrobe, mate, house, etc.) personal growth is limited and change becomes temporary. However, when you change on the emotional level then growth is produced and the physical forms will begin to change automatically and without struggle.

The foundation for permanent change begins within our emotional nature. Our emotions provide motivation, they need to change before genuine change can occur. Our ego is concerned with changing on the outside and our soul wants to change and heal the feelings on the inside. When you begin inside out, change becomes more effortless.

Here is an example; A client of mine was "stuck" in a relationship. The feeling of being powerless was a pattern that haunted him for years. He attempted to fix this problem by changing the person he was dating every six months. He never changed the feelings that attracted those relationships in the first place. Once he understood that the feelings needed to change, he quickly attracted a new relationship with someone who reflected his feelings of being powerful.

The 3rd Secret of change: All Change Produces Chaos! This is the most powerful of all the secrets combined. Chaos and change always function together. It isn't change that you resist, it's your egos attempt to avoid chaos that creates resistance. When change happens its always accompanied by chaos. Chaos can be either light or dark and is a vital energy to the process of every change.

Everyone yearns for change and recoils from its chaos simultaneously. We have been taught to believe that chaos is bad and to be avoided, yet even the most incredible changes we desire: i.e., Getting a job promotion or starting a new romance will also produce chaos! The tug-of-war between our ego and our soul creates our resistance to change. Life is not to be controlled, especially by our ego, it is to be mastered by our soul. We can influence the direction of change when we let go of control, embrace chaos and learn to dance with the unpredictability of change.

The chaos of change is energy moving from one form to another. How you relate to chaos influences the outcome of change, positive or negatively. For instance, when you mix fear with chaos, change becomes negative, producing anxiety and frustration. On the other hand, when you mix hope and trust into chaos then the energy can lift to excitement and joy. Anxiety, frustration, excitement and joy are all chaotic emotions and influence the change you want to make.

Chaos is neutral and is a part of every change. This truth can help you relax and stop worrying that you might be doing something wrong. It's natural to feel chaotic when you experience change in your life. If you don't feel chaos then you aren't really changing. Big changes produce lots of chaos, small changes produces a little. So let chaos be a part of your process of change. Trust yourself know that it won't last forever and is living proof you are in the midst of changing.

The 4th Secret: Focus on the positive outcome by visualizing your future self. How often do you think about what you don't want to happen versus what you do want? This only attracts more of what you don't want. To make changes while in the throws of chaos focus on the future of how you'd like the changes to occur in your life.

The best way to accomplish this is to learn to focus your mind with guided meditation. In a state of meditation you can visualize your future self. Find a relaxed position, close your eyes and take in several deep breaths to help relax your body and focus your mind. Begin to imagine yourself in the future with the changes you desire in your life. Think about how you would feel once you've created the positive changes in your life. Your subconscious mind can begin to help you create the changes you desire. To try guided meditation, visit my website at: www.RelaxationMeditations.com

Don't wait to see what the future holds rather create what you want the future to be in your mind. The more emotions you add to your vision of change, the quicker those changes will manifest. Repeat this on a regular basis at least once a week. You will begin changing the course of your future by using the power of your imagination. As you implement these four secrets, you will end your resistance and harness the power of change to become the master of your life.

Michaiel Patrick Bovenes is an author, professional speaker and self empowerment teacher. He is the author of a popular series of guided visualization meditations called, "Soul-utions". To explore his meditations or receive free ebook on Developing Personal Peace visit his website at: Michaiel.com Michaiel currently resides in San Francisco, CA and teaches throughout the USA and Canada.

Confucius

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