Let me ask you a question. If you feel bad about something why to you repeat it? Feeling upset or down once I would believe is enough. Self Esteem deals with our thoughts, feeling and attitudes about our "self."
You want to create a better situation in your life. You are going to set some type of personal goal dealing with your self esteem. Let us take something as simple as being overweight. Well you can accept it and feel bad about it or you can change the experience by dissociating yourself.
Our problems always lie with our thinking. We remember or recount an unpleasant experience. We feel those feelings that we experienced as if they were happening in the present. We need to acknowledge some things here. One thing that we need to remember is our mind will pull together that experience faster than the speed of light. Though we have control of what we think about, anything brought back that is unpleasant or pleasant will appear very quickly and with the impact of the original experience.
To deal with this we need to relax and take charge of our thoughts, feelings and actions. In NLP dissociated processes takes this into consideration. I know that when we recall an experience or we are trying to change something about our self image, all the good and all the bad come to mind. We seem not to have a choice.
Choices we do have in that we can select the experience we don't want and dissociate from5B4 it. Paradigms are embedded in any of our self esteem issues. In order to move forward we must defuse the paradigm. Let us say you are trying to lose weight, you acknowledge that you can stand to lose a few pounds. The first order is to bring up the picture of the way you are now. You should start a process to dissociate yourself from the picture that brings about the bad feelings. In a relax state, take a look at that picture, place yourself outside your body. In the position of an observer, you can watch yourself run the movie. The movie is that which gives you the bad feelings.
As an observer of your own experience, you are outside your body. Now while you are watching that which makes you feel poorly about yourself, start to change your experience of that movie, remember your sitting on the outside not the inside. Start messing with the movie, speed it up and run it backwards, place yourself in when you are not experiencing that upset, and take yourself out when that event starts to occur. Play around making the movie of slow motion and make it a slide show. You can make the movie small and float away or blow it up.
Watching yourself viewing the movie will distance you from that show. That experience will start to go away at least will not have the same impact. Let us say you have failed many times on different weight loss programs, play each one, and come out a winner. Set yourself up for that body that you do want, m5B4ake that the center of attention and then associate yourself in that movie.
In simple terms we are playing with our memories. We are altering the facts and removing the feelings of anything unpleasant about it. There is nothing wrong with feeling bad about something. That is a signal for us to change. The problem is that every time your run the movie, the same feelings come back with it. That is simply reinforcing the feelings we did not like.
This takes some work since we will have to isolate each of those incidents that come up and when they do, handle them. That is why it is great to have a journal or some paper and pen with you at all times. When you start feeling bad about something, don't write about it, just a quick "hint like" note on a pad and then later when you have time go run the movie and handle that effect.
Our self esteem can be fragile, but that is caused by our own view of us, it has nothing to do with the outside world. Even the outside world can not cause anyone to think badly of themselves unless they allow it. Dissociation is one of the best tools to use to help enhance our own self esteem. It all starts with what you think about and it is there where the fun begins. Think happy thoughts!
John Tebar Certified Life Coach, Author and Entrepreneur sign up for future Tele-Seminars and mail39Cing list at http://www.holisticlifeplanningandresearch.com
Contact email john@holisticlifeplanningandresearch.com
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