The 8 Key Skills For Effective Coaching

The power of coaching has been recognised in many areas for many years. Astute managers and leaders are starting to see coaching skills as a vital addition to their personal effectiveness toolbox. So what are they key skills that managers need to develop?

1.Listening

When growing up we received formal education on reading and writing but not how to listen. Yet when it comes to business, listening is probably one of the most important skills to have.

If as a manager you take on the role of coach, you need to learn to listen with real focus, suspending all of your judgements and opinions. You also need to be listening not just to the words but also to the non verbal signals such as body language.

2.Questioning

Most of us can ask questions. When coaching, you need to be using powerful questions. These are questions that:

Are short, typically 7 words or less

Are open rather than closed

Deepen the learning of the person being coached

Move the person forward towards a goal

Examples include:

What do you want?

Whats important?

Whats the first step?

3.Constructively Challenging

Challenging constructively is about not holding back but at the same time not destroying the relationship. Many people associate coaching with helping, which it clearly is. At the same time if the coaching never rocks the boat it just becomes another nice chat. Playing back contradictions is a great way of constructively challenging. For example:

I hear that you want to get your MBA but at the same time you seem to be resisting making the time for assignments

4.Holding To Account

Accountability is one of the most powerful aspects of coaching. It has been suggested that people have a 95% chance of achieving an objective when they have accountability in place. When someone gives a commitment to doing something and they know that they will be held to account, it drives then forward.

How effective are you at holding people to account as a manager?

5.Seeing different perspectives

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where it feels like you are pinned into a corner and there is no where to go? If so, chances are you were stuck in a perspective. When coaching, you need to be able to help your client to explore different perspectives, so that they can choose those that are most powerful.

6.Encouraging and supporting

Encouraging and supporting when coaching can be the difference between someone keeping going or giving up. Acknowledging another person is an incredibly powerful way of keeping them motivated.

7.Trusting and using intuition

We all have a hunch about something from time to time. Chances are that you have probably started to analyse it and make it logical or not. When coaching, your intuition is a powerful tool. Throw it out if it might be of benefit. The worst that can happen is that it is off the mark.

8.Keeping the focus on your client

When you are in the role of coach your focus needs to be 100% on your client and their agenda. What this means is putting all of the attention on the client and keeping your agenda out of the way.

These 8 key skills can not only help you when coaching but also make you an even better manager or leader. Take time to assess where you strengths lie and where you need to develop.

Duncan Brodie helps accountants and professionals to be great leaders.

Take the first step to being an even better leader by signing up for his free monthly newsletter at http://www.goalsandachievements.co.uk

Pablo Picasso

The Tie That Binds

"My true-love hath my heart, and I have his, by just exchange, one for the other given: I hold his dear, and mine he cannot miss, there never was a better bargain driven." -- Sir Philip Sidney

You are about to learn the secret recipe for the tie that binds. The ingredients and how to lovingly combine them have been protected and tenderly passed down, hand-to-hand, through the generations.

Acceptance is the first ingredient. It lets your beloved know that you accept him (or her) as is, don't want to change him, don't want him to change. You then blend in affection, knowing that "too much" applies to many things but never to affection sincerely offered.

As you mix the ingredients with love and sincere good will, gentleness is the secret technique the masters have perfected and you refine in ways that convey the uniqueness of your loving touch. It's the perfect complement to being fully involved in the moment, without distraction, without reservation.

You have almost got it just right, are nearing perfection; but it still needs a dash of this and a pinch of that, the special spices that bring out the rich flavor of the tie that binds. They are spontaneity and playfulness. Your loving touch is always there, only awaiting a gesture, a feeling, the slightest of signs that it's wanted and valued. It sparkles with joy, enthusiasm, and that indescribable but familiar extra that is in a child's laughter, a lover's smile, in the connection when you share life with your beloved.

Once you have mastered the recipe, your strategy is simple. You need only say to your beloved, "Treat me like I treat you."

We both like it when things are fair so here's what you should do. Watch how I handle things, then treat me like I treat you.

I get into a bad mood once in a while and you get into bad moods too. Watch how I manage my bad moods, then treat me like I treat you.

I may have a lot of things to say or I may only have a few. Watch how I listen when you talk, then treat me like I treat you.

Sometimes you get mad at me and sometimes I get mad too. Watch how I handle the angry times, then treat me like I treat you.

There are things that are important to me and things I expect of you. Watch how I handle your counting on me, then treat me like I treat you.

There are places I expect you to be and there are times to be there too. Watch how I manage being places on time, then treat me like I treat you.

Honesty is something that matters a lot so be sure what you tell me is true. Watch how honest I try to be, then treat me like I treat you.

You make commitments so I'll know what to expect and there are things you promise to do. Watch how I handle commitments I make, then treat me like I treat you.

There are times when I am happy and there are times when I am blue. Watch how I handle your ups and downs, then treat me like I treat you.

There are things I want to experience and there are things I want to do. Watch how I support your hopes and dreams, then treat me like I treat you.

For more articles from Gary Crow, visit http://www.FamilyStew.net and http://www.ParentsLead.com

Inner Light

The Revolution Of Mind

The revolution is here.

It isn't out there in the world with violence and uprisings and upheaval.

It starts within your deepest inner most being.

The energy of the revolution is quiet.

It doesn't create drama or stories that perpetrate drama.

I am a one person revolution.

And so are you.

As we learn to apply all the Universal Laws to each circumstance of our lives: the Law of Attraction, the Law of Vibration,the Law of Karma, (cause and effect), the Law of Gratitude, the Law of Love, the Law of Allowance, we can draw upon the infinite field of all possibilities that these laws represent, and consciously create the world of our dearest dreams.

For many people, the field of unlimited possibilities was first glimpsed when The Secret DVD was released.

This movie changed the consciousness of many and continues to do so.

Of course, these ideas are not new. But as they are mainstreamed into the consciousness of ordinary people, and as more people open their minds to these concepts instead of resisting them, we will realize a much more interesting world to live, move and breathe in.

Old paradigms die hard.

Thoughts such as blame, guilt, shame, poverty consciousness, fear of old age and disease, fear of lost youth, pain and death have previously been the reality of most of the people on the planet.

Now, opportunities abound for releasing these negative beliefs, thus transforming our lives to the One Person Revolution.

Henk Schram and Nikolas Kidd have just launched their beautiful work entitled: "Revolutioniz: Harness The Hidden Laws of the Universe."

I read every word and loved the feeling of Peak Potentiality it released within my psyche!

I love the idea that I am a One Person Revolution, like Gandhi, Martin Luther King, and like Ammon Hennacy, friend of Dorothy Day.

Ammon was a family friend in the 1950's and 1960's. He walked everywhere in the name of World Peace and love, like Peace Pilgrim. His headquarters was at the Catholic Worker in New York City where feeding the hungry and raising consciousness was a daily activity.

He refused to pay taxes and landed in jail more than I can count, because of these acts of protest.

He learned from his prison experiences that the prison is in the mind.

He learned that the sadistic warden was a projection of his own mind.

Sources of joy, love and happiness come from the mind, as well.

The Kingdom of God lies within us all, as well as the self-imposed prison of neglect and self-punishment.

Heaven or Hell--it's your choice.

Revolutioniz is a well researched book leading the reader to self-discovery. The ideas presented by the authors are not new, and can be traced to Indigenous Religions, the Tao, ancient China, Greece and Rome.

These ideas can also be traced to the teachings of Jesus Christ, Krishna and Mohammad.

Universal Truth is present in all of these.

Henk and Nikolas have provided a visualization tool software program with the Revolutioniz package.

I am REALLY having fun with this.

The idea is to frame a goal whether in the realm of family, business, relationships etc, in the present tense.

Visualize your goal with all 5 senses. This helps to make the visualization real and believable and helps you get very excited!

As you do the visualization, jump up and down in child-like ecstasy!!

Do this three times a day!! Then let go of outcome completely.

The software program leads you through the process. You then print out the statements and carry them around with you.

Another tool Henk and Nikolas recommend is to always carry around a notebook with you, and write down every idea that flows into your consciousness.

Writers are known to do this as a way of honoring the Muse.

But the Muse is present in all activities, because life itself is a creative process!!

So the notebook serves to record a thought that will be forgotten if this step is skipped.

Believe me, I've learned this the hard way!

The Laws of the Universe mentioned at the beginning of this article guide us in this revolution and are the road map, if you will.

The concept of Gratitude, for instance, is so greatly overused that people walk the talk instead of walking the walk on this one.

But I recently had the revelation that all things in my life serve to make me a better person, certainly a person with greater character, a stronger more resilient person.

The unseen world has far reaching influences. What I see is not the sum total of anything.

And the unseen world is nothing but Love.

How could anything be negative, evil or bad? Only my thinking makes it so.

I love the prison of my mind!!

I love the freedom of my mind!!

All of it is who I am.

The One Person Revolution is a shared journey.

By living it and passing it on, we make the world a better place.

But let it begin with me.

Kate Loving Shenk is a writer, healer, musician and the creator of the e-book called "Transform Your Nursing Career and Discover Your Calling and Destiny." Click here to find out how to order the e-book: http://www.nursingcareertransformation.com Check Out Kate's Blog: http://www.nursehealers.typepad.com

Howard Cutler

Big Goals - One Secret to Making Them Happen

"You will either step forward into Growth, or you will step back into Safety."

~ Abraham Maslow ~

As the year quickly moves forward, this could turn out to be just another day, week and month that passes by, or it could be the beginning of something new. Take a look at your life. Overall, how is it going? Would you describe your life as a joyous, passionate expression of self? Are you living your most abundant, peaceful, loving life? Everyone of us carries within an idea, a dream, or a desire. Taking action on these desires is how a relevant and personally meaningful life unfolds. Yet so often these dreams are dismissed or put on the cold back burner because they seem so large and unattainable. Will today be another day that passes by without taking action on your dream?

Question: "What could you do differently today that would effect your life?"

We generally have some sort of an idea of what we would wish to create within our life. Yet typically, that dream is also connected with the enormity of all that it would take to change the status quo. The task ahead seems huge and unmanageable. All the familiar feelings of procrastination, doubt, and overwhelm rise to the surface. It seems much easier to remain in the safety of what is familiar. How do any of us get past the plateau that we sit on?

One Necessary Step . . .

Take A Small Step Each and Every Day

Antoine De Saint-Exupery ( 1900-1944, French Aviator, Writer) wrote, "What saves a man is to take a step. Then another step. It is always the same step, but you have to take it." In other words, in the end, as adults, no one can save us but ourselves. We own, and are responsible, for our own lives and happiness.

Problems and challenges exert a force over you. You feel trapped underneath the weight of your issue, unable to move. To confront this force, you need to know what you want out of life. You need a destination in front of you, some positive goal to reach. These long-term goals focus your attention on your ideal future. They represent your final outcome.

It is important to have this big picture representation of your final outcome. It is also necessary to live in today and to choose today actions. Step back from the big picture and find what step you can do right now, today, to make your dream come true. What is one small, achievable step you can take today to move forward with your dream?

What is the definition of a small step? It is any action you can take that would breathe life into your goal, that would bring a sense of forward movement, or that would make you feel good about being involved in the ideas and desires that are most important to you. Today action steps are immediate tasks that move you closer to your long-term goal.

Small action steps are based on your long-term goal. They are important because they keep you focused in the here and now, motivating yourself with small doable decisions. Make your action steps reachable. With each action you law of successfully complete, you feel more energize and more optimistic about having your outcome. Here are several examples of small steps that provide a big impact:

• Write down your goal on paper. Write it down every morning.
• Create a simple picture board illustrating your desired outcome.
• Take five minutes today to imagine yourself joyfully living your desire. Feel your body come alive with pleasure.
• Create a priority list each morning and schedule your goal tasks with a specific time.
• At the end of each day write down the action you completed and celebrate your efforts.

Question:

Will today be the day you gently put aside all of your excuses, and take tangible action on creating your most meaningful dreams?

Regardless of how overwhelming your goal seems, there is always a small step that would lead you toward overcoming your inertia. The size of your step can never be too small. Slowly, step by step, you will bring your dreams to life, feel more energized, and feel better about yourself!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dr. Annette Colby, RD can help you take the pain out of life, turn difficult emotions into joy, release stress, end emotional eating, and move beyond depression into an extraordinary life! Annette is the author of Your Highest Potential and has the unique ability to show you how to spark an amazing relationship with your life! Visit www.LovingMiracles.com to access hundreds of content filled articles and sign up for a Free subscription to Loving Miracles! newsletter.

Meditationtips

Jesus Healing Sick Souls -I Thought I Heard You Singing

I cradled me and looked after my being
remembered Bible stories
Jesus healing sick souls
once mine.

I was so tempted
felt emotions that hummed.
I wanted to taste the moment
smell the scent
smother the lion in all who pursued me.

I touched the moon,
and then I slept there.
I thought I heard you singing.
It was way past midnight,
but I still decided to wait,
grant you entrance into my images of rain
and memories of storms.

I searched for a compass held inside my pocket,
that's where I keep my treasures.
I pulled out reams of paper first
poetry carefully written
and there
between the folds
tightly clad
my compass
my moral measuring tool.
I held it to the light
yet
could not decipher the rainbows
nor the thunder.

Tiny angels sing
I heard them in the colors
I held one in my hand as she was weeping.

I am that golden child she breathed
I am the smoke beyond the river
I am the token of the dragon
the dew
and the lace
that lines the trees
I am the unspoken poem.

Grace
I hold its measures
set music to my dancing
I am the figure that makes a shadow
behind a blinded curtain.

Beyond this day
and far off into the distance
I think I see her treasure.
I released her
set her on her way to finding answers
and moons to sleep on.

I thought all
wrote about it
then picked up my pencils and left.

I cradled me and looked after my being
remembered Bible stories
Jesus healing sick souls
once mine.

ABOUT Kathy Ostman-Magnusen

I paint and sculpt female fantasy art and map faery tale adventures. I dream of beautiful women on canvas and art of exotic women.

I have illustrated for Hay House Inc.,"Women Who Do Too Much" CARDS taken from Anne Wilson Schaef's book. I also illustrated for Neil Davidson, who was considered for the Pulitzer Prize in feature writing, and several other publications. My paintings are collected worldwide.

Giclee canvas art work, greeting cards & posters are available for sale on my website:

http://www.kathysart.com
Sign up for my mailing list FREE ART GIFTS: Drawings of whimsical angel pictures, legends of mermaids & fairies in art. Tiny angels & mermaids for shrink art, or coloring pages. Also a "Letter From the Tooth Fairy". Ya just never know when you might need one!

Check out my Squidoo about creativity: Unlock Creativity|Critical Thinking Creative Writing Active Reading=Great Art
http://www.squidoo.com/createart/

Secretequation

Anam Cara - The Blessing

In Corrogue it is frosty.

The ramp into our acre of diamonds is now firm underfoot where before it was a sea of mud. Murphy our dog runs excitedly by my side. We are on our way to release the chickens from the coop. They are to be fed porridge oats in milk.

Murphy has become an honorary chicken. He has been self-appointed. He now eats with the hens and cockerels as I give them their long awaited breakfast. They are now together, dog and birds, loving this life that is secure and satisfying for them.

I am becoming clearer. I am becoming more integrated and more know of the flow of this life. I am become a soul friend. I am becoming what is known in the Celtic tradition an Anam Cara. This translates as Anam meaning soul and Cara meaning friend.

Like our beautiful dog Murphy I am busy rounding up different aspects of my less integrated self. These are pieces that are like different chickens within a roost. I gently bring them together in love and acceptance. I imagine myself sitting atop a chicken coop with my chicken friends and we would debate various life questions.

We might ask What does it mean to be a seeker after soul. We would squawk about our inner life. We would peck at the question is the unexamined life worth living? We would joke about what happened when the chicken crossed the road. More seriously we would scratch in the earth to query that existential question, What came first - the chicken or the egg?

One of our favourite hens (and I have to acknowledge I do have favourites) is Boddica. She is fearless. She would be the hen to ask fierce questions. She is the hen equivalent of a soul friend. She probes your knowing and understanding of who you really are. She might ask, What does an Anam Cara do?

In answer to Bodica`s question I would humbly reply thus.

An Anam Cara loves your essence.

They see you beyond your mask. This is the mask of persona. This is what you call personality. They see beyond the fear. They see the absence of love. This is love you withdraw from others and yourself. This is the love that is your real power. This does not mean they have to like YOU. You are the one that gets in the way of soul. You soul is the light of love and it needs light. It needs the lightness of being. An Anam Cara will remind you simply to be.

An Anam Cara lives close to the land.

They might be found roosting with chickens. They love the elements of fire, water, earth and air. They are elemental beings although they are more down to earth than mental. Some might consider they exhibit opposite traits. They love sensuality and sexuality. They love the play of Eros. This takes them on the wing. An Anam Cara will remind you to come to your senses and be sensational.

An Anam Cara guides you to the presence you are.

They are people of the silence. They listen. They do not debate. They do not fill you up with knowledge. They transmit the knowing of love. They touch you with beauty. This is not their beauty but the beauty of the Beloved. They move in the world as nobodies of import. They do not puff up your ego. They may build your ego up. They do so in order that you can disappear. This is in order that you can fly the coop. This is so you can enter the joy of leaving the prison house of never being enough.

An Anam Cara reminds you of what is important.

They guide you to knowing who you are. They take you into what are called in Ireland thin places. They take you to the edge. They coax you to the edge. When you are trusting enough they push you. They know this is the only way for you to learn to fly. They know you are an eagle that was brought up in a society of chickens. The Anam Cara will take you soaring. The very air that will take you higher is learning trust and faith in your essential goodness.

An Anam Cara takes you to the source. You will be taken beyond time and space to the very souse of your being. This will be done using different techniques depending on which Anam Cara you talk with. There will be techniques to take you out of the constant chatter of the coop into the light heartedness of life beyond the chicken wire. These techniques take you into ease and allow you to give up dis-ease.

An Anam Cara will affirm YOU.

You will be told that YOU are forever enough. This is because the Anam Cara knows that you are forever enough. They have seen beyond the limitation of the ego. They know the prison house of the little self. They know you hold the key to liberation. Only they might tell you that the door is always open. It was and never will be shut to you. They have trust that all is well and all manner of things shall be well.

An Anam Cara does not really care.

They know you are always held in the hand of the Beloved. They are not here to do anything for or to you. They are only there to facilitate your discovery that you are always enough. They know that what you need is not more of anything but a great big helping of no thing. This gives your soul true rest. This is where you give up trying to live life and become life abundant. You become the flow of the essential. Nothing matters because it all matters. Ultimately they take you to love of soul.

So this is how I would answer my Anam Cara soul hen.

Would she be satisfied? I am not sure. I know she would think I have avoided the real question. What comes first? the chicken or the egg. I compensate by tenderly gathering her up in my arms. I stroke her beautiful chicken head. I tell her, I love you. I tell her, You are a forever enough hen. She goes off and lays another golden egg.

I leave the coop. I leave this Chicken Coop for the Soul and return up the ramp to our cottage. I am gathered in. I leave Murphy to debate the rudiments of flying. He is on the edge. He is excited. One day soon he too hopes to fly. The question is, Which soul hen will do the pushing.

Blessings upon you and those you love and do not love.

Tony Cuckson is an Anam Cara. This Celtic term means Soul Friend. He specializes in providing insight for the spiritual journey, Irish Blessings, words of wisdom and finding inner peace. Visitors to Irish Blessings Matter website and Tonys Blog get the opportunity to develop a purpose driven life through articles, newsletters and other programs. Get your free report called 7 ways to its a wonderful life at http://www.irishblessingsmatter.com or visit Tonys Blog at http://www.irishblessingsmatter.info for the best resources on spiritual growth, spiritual cinema, spiritual parenting, spiritual coaching and spirit in business.

Noble Eightfold Path

Taking Your Baby to Work

Throughout most of history, mothers have kept their babies with them while working. However, now having babies and children in the work environment is not always as easy. Children have become more separated from their parents, and new parents often become isolated and separated from their community.

Having babies in the workplace encourages parents to provide responsive care for their little ones, making sure their individual needs are met. This care provides babies with much needed close physical contact, social interaction, and helps create happier babies.

Parents and families can benefit from happier marriages, lower stress, easier breastfeeding and healthier babies and moms. Mothers may have a lower risk of postpartum depression, and Fathers are often much more involved in the care of the baby. This close contact also helps to encourage family bonding and attachment, can result in lower day care costs and can create healthier, more socialized babies.

So, with all of these are wonderful reasons to encourage having your child by your side in the workplace, why wouldn't you want to?

Luckily, many companies offer programs for their employees to bring their children to work, or to work from home for at least part of their work week. But, what if your workplace doesn't allow your baby to come to work with you? How can you balance both career and family time?

Many working parents find that having an outlet for their own stress helps to promote positive interaction time with their little ones once they arrive home. Try finding something you enjoy doing, which at the same time helps to release any tension or stress built up from your work day. Often yoga, exercise, meditation or a massage can help to provide much needed relief and relaxation. Being relaxed prior to interacting with your baby will contribute to more positive communication and loving time together.

Often parents and babies find that participating in activities together helps to encourage their family bond. Infant Massage is one of these very special activities that you can share together. Close contact through soothing and loving touch can help to relax both you and baby.

Touch is your baby's very first form of communication, so finding a way to communicate through a language they will understand can be extremely beneficial for both you and baby. When getting ready for massage time, be sure to relax and find a few quiet moments to interact with your baby. Even a few minutes of focused, loving attention can make a significant difference in your time together.

If you can find the time, it is advisable to learn infant massage from a qualified instructor. An infant massage instructor will be able to guide you through the use of many different types of massage strokes, you and your child may enjoy. When massage is an exchange between you and baby, it is much more enjoyable. Over time you will develop a unique communication and recognize your baby's cues, making massage an art of communicating your love through your touch.

Copyright (c) 2007 Liddle Kidz Infant and Children's Pediatric Massage

With over a decade of service to children and families, Tina Allen has become an internationally respected parent educator and expert in the field of infant and childrens massage therapy. She is a Certified Trainer with the International Association of Infant Massage, Developmental Baby Massage Teacher and a Licensed Massage Therapist with specialized training in providing massage therapy for children with special healthcare needs. She understands the varied physical and emotional needs of hospitalized and medically complex infants, children and their families. Her innovative approach to childrens health has allowed her the unique opportunity to educate families and professionals throughout the world in the many benefits of nurturing touch.

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