Parable of the Talents
Matthew 25: 14-30 For the kingdom of heaven is as a man traveling into a far country, who called his own servants, and delivered unto them his goods. And unto one he gave five talents, to another two, and to another one; to every man according to his several ability; and straightway took his journey. Then he that had received the five talents went and traded with the same, and made them other five talents. And likewise he that had received two, he also gained other two. But he that had received one went and digged in the earth, and hid his lord's money. After a long time the lord of those servants cometh, and reckoneth with them. And so he that had received five talents came and brought other five talents, saying, Lord, thou deliveredst unto me five talents: behold, I have gained beside them five talents more. His lord said unto him, Well done, thou good and faithful servant: thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord.
He also that had received two talents came and said, Lord, thou deliveredst unto me two talents: behold, I have gained two other talents beside them. His lord said unto him, Well done, good and faithful servant; thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord. Then he which had received the one talent came and said, Lord, I knew thee that thou art an hard man, reaping where thou hast not sown, and gathering where thou hast now strawed. And I was afraid, and went and hid thy talent in the earth: lo, there thou hast that is thine.
His lord answered and said unto him, Thou wicked and slothful servant, thou knewest that I reap where I sowed not, and gather where I have not strawed: Thou oughtest therefore to have put my money to the exchangers, and then at my coming I should have received mine own with usury. Take therefore the talent from him, and give it unto him which hath ten talents. For unto every one that hath shall be given, and he shall have abundance: but from him that hath not shall be taken away even that which he hath. And cast ye the unprofitable servant into the outer darkness: there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth. For the novel by Octavia Butler, see Parable of the Talents (novel). The parable tells of a master who was leaving his home to travel, and before going gave his three servants different amounts of money. On returning from his travels, the master asked his servants for an account of the money given to them.
The first servant reported that he was given five talents, and he had made five talents more. The master praised the servant as being good and faithful, gave him more responsibility because of his faithfulness, and invited the servant to be joyful together with him.The second servant said that he had received two talents, and he had made two talents more. The master praised this servant in the same way as being good and faithful, giving him more responsibility and inviting the servant to be joyful together with him.The last servant who had received one talent reported that knowing his master was a hard man, he buried his talent in the ground for safekeeping, and therefore returned the original amount to his master. The master called him a wicked and lazy servant, saying that he should have placed the money in the bank to generate interest. The master commanded that the one talent be taken away from that servant, and given to the servant with ten talents, because everyone that has much will be given more, and whoever that has a little, even the little that he has will be taken away. And the master ordered the servant to be thrown outside into the darkness.
The parable is apparently the origin of the use of the word "talent" to use a skill or ability, from the common interpretation of the story to teach that we are under a moral obligation to use our abilities rather than bury them; compare the phrase in Milton's sonnet on his blindness,And that one talent which is death to hide Lodged with me useless... The parable of the talents, as depicted in a 1712 woodcut. The lazy servant searches for his buried talent, while the two other servants present their earnings to their master.The Parable of the Talents (sometimes just the Parable of Talents) is a parable of Jesus in the Gospel of Matthew (Matthew 25:14-30). It was told to illustrate the nature of the Kingdom of Heaven, and that diligence in carrying out one's responsibilities is essential for more important tasks in the future.A similar parable, called The Parable of the Minas or The Parable of the Pounds is found in the Gospel of Luke 19:12-27, the main difference being that the master entrusted his servants with equal amounts, and that a mina was of much less value than a talent.Jesus described the Kingdom of Heaven using the perspective of Jewish society at that time.
He begins with the Parable of The Ten Virgins to illustrate, and continues with the Parable of Talents. Talents were used as a unit of currency. It is impossible to be exact about their value, and different kinds of talent were in use. However, even the lowest value for a talent puts it as worth several thousand denarii, and a denarius was the usual payment for a day's labour. So a talent was the value of many years of work by an ordinary person.
Sunday, March 25, 2007
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Mindfulness and Laughter
Gaining Clarity While Giggling
By: Maya Talisman Frost
Life is funny. Throughout the day, there are plenty of humorous moments that we tend to ignore. We get so caught up in being earnest that we miss opportunities to gain clarity while giggling. Sure, there are times when it is considered inappropriate to laugh, but if we're honest, we'll see that if we're suppressing a smile it's a sign that we're fully present. Not only that, but these are times when we could most use a little laughter to bring levity to an overly-serious situation. The best business meetings--and funerals--I've ever attended included plenty of bust-a-gut moments. Years ago, during a two-week silent meditation retreat, I got the giggles. Oh, I know, you're supposed to be *serious* about meditating for five hours straight, but I couldn't help it. It all started when I was roused from my peaceful posture by a certain "KLUNK!" from across the room. I opened my eyes to see that one of my retreat buddies had fallen asleep and landed with his head against the wall. Momentarily unnerved, he quickly straightened up, closed his eyes and put on his best meditator's face. I, on the other hand, completely lost it. I managed to stifle the first few giggles, but then they started escaping in little bursts. I tried the ol' coughing technique, hoping to disguise my snorts as expectoration, but I wasn't fooling anyone. Pretty soon, I saw (well, I did have my eyes open) others looking my way. Nobody else was laughing. In fact, nobody else was even smiling. Clearly, I was the only one who had allowed myself to get caught up in that unexpected moment of hilarity. I was chagrined, and then annoyed, and continued to watch my response to this incident shift over the next few minutes. Had it been funny? Of course. Were we supposed to be concentrating fully on the moment? Absolutely. Anything else would be attachment to past regrets or worries about the future. Okay, so we were focusing on watching our thoughts, and this little interruption was not part of what was going on in our heads. But isn't ignoring what's happening around us the same kind of thing that gets us into trouble back in the Real World? We go about our lives, obsessing silently, moving mindlessly, getting things done. We fail to notice the wonder and joy and beauty all around us because we are in full scowl mode about the things in our heads. Well, I'm all for taking time to laugh. Give me a giggling guru over a dour taskmaster every time. The greatest guides--in business, education, and personal success--are those who encourage us to invite hilarity into our lives whenever it happens to appear. Open your eyes to the silliness around you, and laugh out loud. It's good for your heart in every way.
About The Author
Maya Talisman Frost is a mind masseuse offering specialized mindfulness training in Portland, Oregon. She teaches eyes-wide-open ways to get calm, clear and creative. To subscribe to her free weekly ezine, the Friday Mind Massage, please visit http://www.massageyourmind.com/ maya@mindmassuse.com
Significance Of Colors In Feng Shui Practice
by: Andrew Jones
Have you ever wondered what feelings do you have when you look at bright red rose in the garden? Can you imagine if a garden that does not have colorful flowers but only the green foliage? Early in the morning when you see a newly opened flower in your garden, your heart is filled with joy and happiness. Each flower in the garden has a different color and hue that affects you differently. While the white lily touches your soul for its serenity, the red rose with its vibrant energy elicits a feeling of love and passion.
The feeling is different because the flower is reflecting a different color and Feng Shui uses this natural magic of colors to transform your life. A rose is red because it reflects red color and Feng Shui makes use of this reflected energy to create a balance between yin and yang energies that suits your personality or your environment. You may be aware of two types of energies (yin and yang) that the colors in Feng Shui represent. You can think of yin energy as like a plant growing from the earth. It comes from the soil, raising itself upward and moving toward the sky. As yin energy moves up to the sky it becomes diffused and dissipated. Yin energies have an element of dreaminess about them and the colors like blue, white, green and purple according to Feng Shui are believed to have yin energies. If your home office is full of creative and dream-inducing objects or colors, Feng Shui may ask you to get rid of them (at least some of them) and introduce in their place more vibrant colors that will help you get in the right spirit to do some work and be enthusiastic. Every association you have with a color contributes in some way to how you are. That is why colors play a meaningful role within the practice of Feng Shui. It is very essential for you to understand why toning down or playing up certain Feng Shui colors in your home will help you to achieve the goals you have set for yourself in your life. The guiding principle in using Feng Shui Colors should be to achieve balance rather than excess.
Whether you are planning the color scheme of your home, office, garden or personal appearance, the following characteristics of the colors in Feng Shui practice will give you an insight into how they can be used in Feng Shui design - http://www.thespiritualfengshui.com/feng-shui-design.php Yin Colors & Feng Shui Yin colors according to Feng Shui are the colors which bring about healing and relaxation. The relation between colors and Feng Shui can be better understood by taking the example of some colors as given below. Blue: Blue color according to Feng Shui has yin energy and it is calm and soothing. This color has great significance in Feng Shui as it reflects love as it heals and relaxes. Blue creates a feeling of peace and trust. Since it is the color of the sea and sky, Feng Shui associates it with adventure and exploration. Navy blue it the color of intellect and wisdom. Black: Black color in Feng Shui symbolizes money and income, black is great for careers, especially when combined with metal. It is the Feng Shui color of emotional protection and power. Purple: Purple, the color which lies at the end of the spectrum, has a great significance in spiritual Feng Shui.
The color is excellent for physical and mental healing and Feng Shui associates it with spiritual awareness. White: The color in Feng Shui represents poise, confidence and purity. Because of its yin energy, Feng Shui uses this color mostly in combination with gold or silver to generate an atmosphere The other yin colors of Feng Shui are pink and green which also have their individual properties that are used in Feng Shui practice. Yang colors and Feng Shui Yellow: Yellow color in Feng Shui is considered to be as auspicious as red. Yellow represents sunbeams, warmth, motion, cheerfulness and friendliness. However, according to a noted color Feng Shui consultant, prolonged exposure to large amounts of intense yellow can cause anxiety. Orange: With a lot of yang energy the orange color has great significance for spiritual Feng Shui practice as it strengthens your concentration. You might use this color when your creative well runs dry. Orange color in Feng Shui is used to give you a sense of purpose. Orange is the color of organization. The other yang colors of Feng Shui are Tan/Beige, Brown, Red, Mauve, Maroon and lavender and gold. Each color has its significance such as money, luck or romance.
hese colors can be used in different combinations with Feng Shui elements for balancing the chi of your Feng Shui home, Feng Shui bed room, or Feng Shui office. Colors & Feng Shui also have a lot to do with the direction in which your home sits. There are different colors that Feng Shui defines for the use in exterior facades of your house. Exterior colors of your house in Feng Shui practice can be used for matching or enhancing the basic house type that you have. For example if your house is facing towards the south, painting its exterior with white, grey or blue enhances the flow of chi in your home. For houses facing towards East, the colors in earth tones or metal tones are thought to be of much use for enhancing the positive energies of the house. The above article has been written with the sole aim of introducing you to the significance of relationship between colors and Feng Shui. But in actual Feng Shui practice there are many other factors which need to be given importance, it is very essential for you to understand the core of Feng Shui. Once you know what is Feng Shui, you are in better position to understand the significance of Feng Shui tips. Remember that opening your heart to universe is more important than knowing meaning of colors and Feng Shui practice, because it is from there that you allow the healing energies to flow in your heart and living environments. The book on The Spiritual Feng Shui has been specially written for Feng Shui study - http://www.thespiritualfengshui.com/feng-shui-study.php, for beginners to bring home the significance of spiritualism for Feng Shui practice.
About The Author
Andrew Jones is an expert author on Feng Shui related topics. Colors Feng Shui - http://www.thespiritualfengshui.com/feng-shui-color.php andrew@orientinfosolutions.com
Have you ever wondered what feelings do you have when you look at bright red rose in the garden? Can you imagine if a garden that does not have colorful flowers but only the green foliage? Early in the morning when you see a newly opened flower in your garden, your heart is filled with joy and happiness. Each flower in the garden has a different color and hue that affects you differently. While the white lily touches your soul for its serenity, the red rose with its vibrant energy elicits a feeling of love and passion.
The feeling is different because the flower is reflecting a different color and Feng Shui uses this natural magic of colors to transform your life. A rose is red because it reflects red color and Feng Shui makes use of this reflected energy to create a balance between yin and yang energies that suits your personality or your environment. You may be aware of two types of energies (yin and yang) that the colors in Feng Shui represent. You can think of yin energy as like a plant growing from the earth. It comes from the soil, raising itself upward and moving toward the sky. As yin energy moves up to the sky it becomes diffused and dissipated. Yin energies have an element of dreaminess about them and the colors like blue, white, green and purple according to Feng Shui are believed to have yin energies. If your home office is full of creative and dream-inducing objects or colors, Feng Shui may ask you to get rid of them (at least some of them) and introduce in their place more vibrant colors that will help you get in the right spirit to do some work and be enthusiastic. Every association you have with a color contributes in some way to how you are. That is why colors play a meaningful role within the practice of Feng Shui. It is very essential for you to understand why toning down or playing up certain Feng Shui colors in your home will help you to achieve the goals you have set for yourself in your life. The guiding principle in using Feng Shui Colors should be to achieve balance rather than excess.
Whether you are planning the color scheme of your home, office, garden or personal appearance, the following characteristics of the colors in Feng Shui practice will give you an insight into how they can be used in Feng Shui design - http://www.thespiritualfengshui.com/feng-shui-design.php Yin Colors & Feng Shui Yin colors according to Feng Shui are the colors which bring about healing and relaxation. The relation between colors and Feng Shui can be better understood by taking the example of some colors as given below. Blue: Blue color according to Feng Shui has yin energy and it is calm and soothing. This color has great significance in Feng Shui as it reflects love as it heals and relaxes. Blue creates a feeling of peace and trust. Since it is the color of the sea and sky, Feng Shui associates it with adventure and exploration. Navy blue it the color of intellect and wisdom. Black: Black color in Feng Shui symbolizes money and income, black is great for careers, especially when combined with metal. It is the Feng Shui color of emotional protection and power. Purple: Purple, the color which lies at the end of the spectrum, has a great significance in spiritual Feng Shui.
The color is excellent for physical and mental healing and Feng Shui associates it with spiritual awareness. White: The color in Feng Shui represents poise, confidence and purity. Because of its yin energy, Feng Shui uses this color mostly in combination with gold or silver to generate an atmosphere The other yin colors of Feng Shui are pink and green which also have their individual properties that are used in Feng Shui practice. Yang colors and Feng Shui Yellow: Yellow color in Feng Shui is considered to be as auspicious as red. Yellow represents sunbeams, warmth, motion, cheerfulness and friendliness. However, according to a noted color Feng Shui consultant, prolonged exposure to large amounts of intense yellow can cause anxiety. Orange: With a lot of yang energy the orange color has great significance for spiritual Feng Shui practice as it strengthens your concentration. You might use this color when your creative well runs dry. Orange color in Feng Shui is used to give you a sense of purpose. Orange is the color of organization. The other yang colors of Feng Shui are Tan/Beige, Brown, Red, Mauve, Maroon and lavender and gold. Each color has its significance such as money, luck or romance.
hese colors can be used in different combinations with Feng Shui elements for balancing the chi of your Feng Shui home, Feng Shui bed room, or Feng Shui office. Colors & Feng Shui also have a lot to do with the direction in which your home sits. There are different colors that Feng Shui defines for the use in exterior facades of your house. Exterior colors of your house in Feng Shui practice can be used for matching or enhancing the basic house type that you have. For example if your house is facing towards the south, painting its exterior with white, grey or blue enhances the flow of chi in your home. For houses facing towards East, the colors in earth tones or metal tones are thought to be of much use for enhancing the positive energies of the house. The above article has been written with the sole aim of introducing you to the significance of relationship between colors and Feng Shui. But in actual Feng Shui practice there are many other factors which need to be given importance, it is very essential for you to understand the core of Feng Shui. Once you know what is Feng Shui, you are in better position to understand the significance of Feng Shui tips. Remember that opening your heart to universe is more important than knowing meaning of colors and Feng Shui practice, because it is from there that you allow the healing energies to flow in your heart and living environments. The book on The Spiritual Feng Shui has been specially written for Feng Shui study - http://www.thespiritualfengshui.com/feng-shui-study.php, for beginners to bring home the significance of spiritualism for Feng Shui practice.
About The Author
Andrew Jones is an expert author on Feng Shui related topics. Colors Feng Shui - http://www.thespiritualfengshui.com/feng-shui-color.php andrew@orientinfosolutions.com
Saturday, March 10, 2007
The Secret of Life
By: Dave Cole
The question Isn't, "Is there life after death." Rather, the question Is: "Are you alive before death." Some folks say that Jesus is the secret of life, others say that Buddha is, others say that Mohammed is. For just about every religious sect, they have as the basis of their religion a central figure which they claim is the secret of life. And, as a side note, if these religions didn't believe that the main character behind the religion weren't the secret, then why would anyone even bother believing in them anyway? Science has claimed the secret of life to be DNA. In her song of the same title, Faith Hill sang: The secret of life is a good cup of coffee The secret of life is keep your eye on the ball The secret of life is a beautiful woman Tom T. Hall wrote: It's faster horses, Younger women, Older whiskey and More money.
But if there really is a true secret of life, then shouldn't it stand to reason that this secret would be a constant. Something that remains the same despite religious viewpoints, despite centuries, and despite races of people. A secret of life would be something that would be applicable to all folks, in all times and ages and something that would be of benefit to any and all, irregardless of their religion or creed or race or region of the world, or era of history. A good case could be made for love being the secret of life. And if love was pure and unadulterated, then perhaps we would explore this deeper. However love can be spent in many less than virtuous avenues. There are those who have a deep, passionate love for things like drugs, pornography, money, the ways of the devil, and so on. Is there a one single, true in all cases....secret of life? If so, shouldn't this one thing be equal and beneficial to the same degree for all. Don't we all believe that the secret of life should be some special knowledge that would set us all free, solve all our problems and make us happy, contented and loved by everyone?
Down through the ages, the advice of the sages and prophets has been, "know thyself". I've got some good news for you. The secret of life, that one elixir which has baffled sages and seekers since time began, that one thing which has been sought after for centuries on end, the one thing that will provide all the answers.....is: You You are the secret of life. You, the entire you, the fabulous you, You, the single entity that is alive. You alone hold the key, you alone have the answer. You alone already have and hold the secret of life. It is hidden in the I Am. It is hidden in all that you are. It is hidden in your identity. It is called life. The entire one single thing, the secret of life, is that you are life. You are alive. You have the answer within you to whatever it is you are seeking. No one else does. Only you. You.
The great I am is you. There was once an argument among the gods over where to hide the secret of life so that men and women would not find it. One god said: Bury it under a mountain; they will never look there. No, the others said, one day they will find ways to dig up mountains and will uncover it. Another said: Sink it in the depths of the ocean; it will be safe there. No the others objected, humans will one day find a way to plumb the ocean's depths and find it easily. Finally another god said: Put it inside them; men and women will never think of looking for it there for a long time, by the time they are intelligent enough to discover the secret, perhaps they will also be wise enough to use it properly. If there ever was a secret of life, it's that you Are. It's that you should believe in you as being all that is life. You already knew this....search and look deep inside yourself, you will know this is truth.
Life is you. Life without you, wouldn't be life. It's the exact same for every creature on this earth. It never changes, indeed, it cannot. It's the same for all races and for all ages. The secret of life is never to be found external to oneself, if you're looking outside yourself, you're looking in all the wrong places. It is always to be found as oneself. And that's great news. You have your entire life ahead of you. The past is over, it's history, it cannot ever be replayed or re-done again. You have your future. You have the very now, the very present to live and to be you and to enjoy being the secret of life in.
About the author:Dave Cole Prosperity: The Choice Is Yours Copyright © 2005 Dave's E-zine provides you with inspiration, motivation, and postive life values to assist you in having more Prosperity, Peace & Understanding in your life. Get your F R E E subscription today. http://choosetoprosper.com/
Rain Secret To Change Your Mind
By: Hirini Reedy Copyright 2005
Hirini ReedyHeard of a raindance? It is a ritual used by native shamen to influence the heavens. It is a bit like bending spoons, you have to believe in something that goes against your normal perceptions of reality. Bit like a sceptic or a mystic, both will see what they believe. In the polarity of life, both sceptic and mystic are needed for balance. A bit like good and bad weather. Each one is relative to the other.
Too much sun causes a desert. Too much rain causes a flood.So what, you ask?The same principles of the raindance can apply to being happy or unhappy. Do a rain-dance to change your moods. Look for the little teardrops to soften a hardened heart? Find the tiny sunbeam when you only see dark clouds of despair. Find the dance within you. Believe in the magic inside you. Feel it happening. Then see it happen. Some people are conditioned to seeing the worst in life. They will turn good fortune into potential misfortune within a couple of words. Do you know such people? I once knew a successful woman who managed to darken a bright day quite quickly. You might know someone like this."How are things going today?", I asked her over a cuppa. She proceeded to fill the whole conversation with a series of moans.Staff problems, cannot find good staff ... big moan.
My husband has serious control problem ... big moan.Her car needed a tune-up ... big moan. I start laughing. Her face reddens. "What is so $%*&^ funny?"I said, "You are one miserable $%^^&^@. Your problems are someone's dreams right now. Get a grip. You have a business. You have a husband. You have a car. A Tsunami victim right now probably has no home or is still missing. Right now someone is on life support in your local hospital. Their family is crying and holding hands outside in the waiting room. So stop your &^%$^^^%^ moaning and start being grateful".She stared at me. My words sinking in. Icy silence. Then she started to laugh. A small laugh at first. Soon we were both laughing.
ometimes we all need some honest feedback that cuts straight through to the core.Life is never going to be perfect. Life is what we make of it right NOW. We've have all been miserable, and we've all been happy. Guess what? We will continue to experience misery and happiness. We need to keep it in perspective like the weather. It does not mean we need to be happy 24/7/365 days a year. It would be too much of a strain. Aim to be happy most of the time. Yet allow time for unhappiness. Allow time for feeling pain, grief, sadness and loneliness. These are all part of the wheel of life. Just make sure to keep the wheel turning rather than getting stuck in the same ole muddy patch. So do a rain-dance. Do something to change your state of mind. Jump up and down. Make it rain tears of laughter.
About the author:Hirini Reedy is a native Maori author, civil engineer, retired military officer, martial arts black belt, NLP master practitioner and internet entrepreneur. He creates accelerated mind-body fitness solutions for modern life. Check http://www.instantfitnessplans.com/
Wednesday, March 7, 2007
Build Your People Skills
By: Garrett Coan
How would you like to get along even better with others in your personal relationships and in the workplace? Getting along well with people sounds kind of general and is difficult to do much about, so let’s break it down into some manageable and specific skills. By building the following skills, you will get along well with others: 1. Build others’ self-esteem. 2. Show empathy for others. 3. Encourage people to cooperate with each other. 4. Communicate assertively. 5. Ask productive questions and demonstrate listening skills. 6. Respond productively to emotional statements. People skills (which are also known as emotional intelligence) can be thought of as six specific skills. Let’s take a brief look at each one.
1. Build others’ self-esteem. When you are in a situation where you are made to feel good about yourself, you feel good. You can do the same with others by doing the following kinds of things: a. Make eye contact with others. b. Call others by their names. c. Ask others their opinions. d. Compliment others’ work. e. Tell people how much you appreciate them. f. Write notes of thanks when someone does something worthwhile. g. Make people feel welcome when they come to your home or workplace. h. Pay attention to what is going on in people’s lives. Acknowledge milestones and express concern about difficult life situations such as illness, deaths, and accidents. i. Introduce your family members to acquaintances when you meet them in public. j. Encourage your loved ones to explore their talents and interests. k. Share people’s excitement when they accomplish something. l. Honor people’s needs and wants. m. Take responsibility for your choices and actions, and expect others to do the same. n. Take responsibility for the quality of your communications. 2. Show empathy for others. Empathy means recognizing emotions in others. It is the capacity to put yourself in another person’s shoes and understand how they view their reality and how they feel about things. Being aware of our emotions and how they affect our actions is a fundamental ability in today’s people-intense workplaces. People who are cut off from their emotions are unable to connect with people. It’s like they are emotionally tone-deaf.
No one wants to work with such people because they have no idea how they affect others. You have probably met a few people who fit this description. 3. Encourage people to cooperate with each other. Whether you are managing a family or a work group, there are some specific things you can do to create an environment where others work together well: a. Don’t play favorites. Treat everyone the same. Otherwise, some people will not trust you. b. Don’t talk about people behind their backs. c. Ask for others’ ideas. Participation increases commitment. d. Follow up on suggestions, requests, and comments, even if you are unable to carry out a request. e. Check for understanding when you make a statement or announcement. Don’t assume everyone is with you. f. Make sure people have clear instructions for tasks to be completed. Ask people to describe what they plan to do. g. Reinforce cooperative behavior.
Don’t take it for granted. 4. Communicate assertively. Assertive communication is a constructive way of expressing feelings and opinions. People are not born assertive; their behavior is a combination of learned skills. Assertive behavior enables you to: a. Act in your own best interests. b. Stand up for yourself without becoming anxious. c. Express your honest feelings. d. Assert your personal rights without denying the rights of others. Assertive behavior is different from passive or aggressive behavior in that it is: a. Self-expressive b. Honest c. Direct d. Self-enhancing e. Constructive, not destructive Assertive behavior includes both what you say and how you say it. 5. Ask productive questions and demonstrate listening skills. Listening skills help you show that you are hearing and understanding another person and are interested in what he or she has to say. 6. Respond productively to emotional statements. A communication skill called active listening is especially useful in emotional situations because it enables you to demonstrate that you understand what the other person is saying and how he or she is feeling about it. Active listening means restating, in your own words, what the other person has said. It’s a check of whether your understanding is correct. This demonstrates that you are listening and that you are interested and concerned.
Active listening responses have two components: a. Naming the feeling that the other person is conveying b. Stating the reason for the feeling Here are some examples of active listening statements: "Sounds like you’re upset about what happened at work." "You’re annoyed by my lateness, aren’t you?" "You sound really stumped about how to solve this problem." "It makes you angry when you find errors on Joe’s paperwork." "Sounds like you’re really worried about Wendy." "I get the feeling you’re awfully busy right now." Actively listening is not the same as agreement. It is a way of demonstrating that you intend to hear and understand another’s point of view. The ability to get along well with people in your personal relationships and in the workplace is a set of learned skills. No one is born knowing how to build others’ self-esteem, show empathy, encourage cooperation, communicate assertively, ask productive questions, or respond productively to emotional statements. These skills can be learned and developed with some practice. By taking the time to develop these skills, you will be able to build better relationships at home and at work.
About the author:Garrett Coan is a professional therapist, coach, and psychotherapist. His two Northern New Jersey office locations are accessible to individuals who reside in Bergen County, Essex County, Passaic County, Rockland County, and Manhattan. He offers online and telephone counseling services for those who live at a distance. He can be accessed through http://www.creativecounselors.com/or 201-303-4303.
Please click here for more articles about interpersonal communication.
Please click here for more articles about interpersonal communication.
The Seven Keys to Motivation
By: Nancy Wurtzel Motivation.
It’s a complicated subject that is studied by many and understood by few. Virtually every aspect of human life -- from the mundane to the life-changing -- is guided, swayed and altered by motivating factors. For instance, what to have for dinner may be motivated by a desire to lose or gain weight. Whether or not to attend a business seminar may be motivated by the speakers, location and cost. When and where to buy new clothing may be motivated by a long list of personal preferences as well as the changing seasons and weather conditions. Even reading this article is a motivated behavior.
Do you like the style of writing? Are you curious about the subject matter? Do you have a desire to learn new information? Do you have enough time to finish reading? If the answers are no, you probably won’t continue reading! But since you have continued, you are obviously motivated. You want to learn more about how to get and stay motivated, and how this motivation can help you become a better business owner. THE BUSINESS OF MOTIVATION Motivation is one of the most powerful driving forces in the workplace. It can mean the difference between tremendous success and failure. Motivation stems from two sources. The first part of motivation is external or extrinsic (outside the person) sources. Other motivating factors come from internal forces, which are mainly your thoughts, patterns and collective experiences. However, humans are unique, so what motivates Jack will not necessarily motivate Jill. You -- and only you -- will be able to determine what works. Take the time to examine what internal and external factors are motivating you as a business owner. What can you do to enhance and refine your motivation to make yourself more productive and more fulfilled? Here are seven keys to motivation that may prove helpful.
1. INSPIRATION Inspiration is critical to getting and staying motivated. If you are not interested in your business, your motivation level will never be high and you won’t be able to sustain interest for very long. On the flip side, if you are energized and excited about the work you are doing, you will have more persistence, energy and intensity. Take an honest look at your inspiration level. Are you excited about going to work or is it an obligation? You would be surprised at the number of people who choose a business that looks good on paper, but in reality does not interest them in the least. These individuals will grow weary and uninterested pretty quickly because they have no inspiration or passion to sustain them during the difficult times they will encounter as a small business owner. If you don’t really enjoy your work, then think how you can re-focus your small business to better match your needs. Or consider making a change entirely. That’s pretty drastic advice, but inspiration is that important.
2. SETTING GOALS Short and long-term goal setting is vital for any business owner. If you didn’t set goals, you would be adrift with nothing to strive for and no charted course to follow. How could you possibly be motivated if you were unsure about the direction of your company? Take the time to put your goals in writing. A business plan may sound daunting, but it is really nothing more than goals, strategies, implementation and a budget. Write your own business plan and update it at least annually. Include “mini-goals” that can be accomplished in a matter of hours, days or weeks as well as the more ambitious “grand-goals” that may take years to complete. Refer to this plan throughout the year. But can a business plan really help motivate you? Yes! Written goals will make you feel more professional and certainly more connected to your business. It will also free you from having to reinvent your business goals every single day.
3. NETWORKING Another key factor in getting and staying motivated is networking with other small business owners. One person can't move huge mountains. However, when a number of people begin working together the mountains are suddenly only small hills -- simply challenges waiting to be surmounted. In fact, the isolation of working alone is of one the most difficult parts of being an entrepreneur. Mutual support is motivating. So, make it easier on yourself by connecting with others either in your community or online. Even when businesses are not related, you will often find common ground and ways to work together. Many successful entrepreneurs report that finding the right networking group was a turning point in the growth of the business. Working together, a networking group can help its members generate more qualified sales leads and solve problems faster and more efficiently. Sharing ideas, expertise and experience is also an invaluable aspect of networking groups. And, don’t forget about sharing costs, possibly by buying in bulk or with joint marketing projects. Your own personal team of business owners will help re-energize you when the burdens of running your own business seem too much. With your networking team to rely on, you can accomplish more in less time and probably have more fun in the process. Certainly, you will feel less alone.
4. REWARD YOURSELF Small business owners will always have to work hard, but all work and no play is a huge mistake. Your motivation will soon begin to fall if you never take any time away from the demands of running the business. So, plan frequent rewards for yourself. No, it doesn’t need to be a trip to Hawaii (although this is a great idea). Your reward can be as simple as a lunch out with an old friend, a matinee with your significant other, an afternoon of shopping or a relaxing massage. If your budget and time will allow, take a few days off for a short trip or simply schedule a vacation from work for a few days. Make it a real vacation -- even if you don’t leave town -- so no checking email, voice mail or the fax machine. You need to get away, unwind and renew yourself. This “down” time to regenerate will help improve your attitude and perspective. It sounds corny, but you will come back to your business with a new sense of motivation.
5. EXERCISE While it isn’t always immediately apparent, there is a powerful connection between the mind and the body. It is vital for every small business owner to take breaks and exercise -- everyday. If your body isn’t healthy, your motivation will certainly suffer. These exercise breaks don’t have to be huge blocks of time, and you needn’t spend money joining a gym or hiring a personal trainer. Start by walking briskly for 30 minutes before, during or after work. After you have incorporated a walk each day, then try doubling the time or doing two walks each day. Whatever works for you is best, but the important thing is to start. You will begin to feel better. After the walking is part of your routine, add some basic light weights. Buy a tape or go online to find out how to properly use the weights so you won’t injure yourself. You can keep the weights under your desk, and use them for just a few minutes at a time. Buy a timer the next time you are at the grocery store. Set the timer for for three minutes to start and then add a minute or two until you’re up to 10 or 15 minutes each day. Some small business owners have a television at work and they schedule a CNN break along with their weights. This way, they are catching up with world and local news while simultaneously getting some moderate exercise.
8. ORGANIZE Organization is critical to motivation. How can you feel good about your work, when you can’t find important papers or you are constantly late returning messages? Your business will falter and your motivation will suffer. Some people just can’t get organized. If you are one of them, then consider bringing in someone -- a business friend, family member or professional -- to help you get the clutter and mess cleaned up. You will be amazed at how this one important step will help you get back on the organizational track. Don’t stop there. Now really get organized by creating business systems that will help you streamline your operations. The real challenge will be keeping yourself on track by maintaining these systems. For many, it is a daily challenge, but if you use your organizational systems you’ll be free to think about other important issues.
7. MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKERS AND AUTHORS As small business owners, it seems we are bombarded with motivational ideas and materials-- tapes, books, CD’s, seminars, workbooks, videos and more. Why are there so many different motivational products, authors and speakers? Because people are buying these materials. Used effectively, they are effective and therefore they sell! However, there are so many different motivational gurus that it is often difficult to see through the clutter to find someone that makes sense for you -- someone who can get you “fired up” about working and improving your business.
Try talking to your mentor or networking group members to see who they might recommend. Start being aware of the motivational industry and how it might help you become more enthused and positive about your business. Do some light research of your own to find some authors and speakers that interest you. Before you invest in motivational materials, you can probably find some inexpensive ways to obtain the materials. Check out your local library, tune into your local PBS station, buy materials with a networking friend, visit used bookstores or buy used materials online. Don’t make a huge investment, because you will probably want to sample many different viewpoints. But do these materials really work? Yes, but only if you make the effort. Just like exercise, you have to work the muscles -- in this case your mind muscles. It is up to you to take that information and apply it to your own life and business. Really use the motivational ideas over a period of time and you will begin to see results. KEEP THE MOMENTUM GOING Motivation is what moves us forward in our daily and business lives. Take the time to examine your motivating factors and use some of these keys to improve your focus and renew your enthusiasm. If you keep on track, the motivation momentum can’t help but carry you forward.
About the author:Nancy Wurtzel is the founder and of All About Baby, an ecommerce company that offers personalized and memorable gifts for children. In addition to a wide product selection, All About Baby also featured helpful and interesting site content. In addition to running her own business, Nancy consults with other small business owners providing advice about growing their ecommerce sites.
Please click here for more articles about motivation.
It’s a complicated subject that is studied by many and understood by few. Virtually every aspect of human life -- from the mundane to the life-changing -- is guided, swayed and altered by motivating factors. For instance, what to have for dinner may be motivated by a desire to lose or gain weight. Whether or not to attend a business seminar may be motivated by the speakers, location and cost. When and where to buy new clothing may be motivated by a long list of personal preferences as well as the changing seasons and weather conditions. Even reading this article is a motivated behavior.
Do you like the style of writing? Are you curious about the subject matter? Do you have a desire to learn new information? Do you have enough time to finish reading? If the answers are no, you probably won’t continue reading! But since you have continued, you are obviously motivated. You want to learn more about how to get and stay motivated, and how this motivation can help you become a better business owner. THE BUSINESS OF MOTIVATION Motivation is one of the most powerful driving forces in the workplace. It can mean the difference between tremendous success and failure. Motivation stems from two sources. The first part of motivation is external or extrinsic (outside the person) sources. Other motivating factors come from internal forces, which are mainly your thoughts, patterns and collective experiences. However, humans are unique, so what motivates Jack will not necessarily motivate Jill. You -- and only you -- will be able to determine what works. Take the time to examine what internal and external factors are motivating you as a business owner. What can you do to enhance and refine your motivation to make yourself more productive and more fulfilled? Here are seven keys to motivation that may prove helpful.
1. INSPIRATION Inspiration is critical to getting and staying motivated. If you are not interested in your business, your motivation level will never be high and you won’t be able to sustain interest for very long. On the flip side, if you are energized and excited about the work you are doing, you will have more persistence, energy and intensity. Take an honest look at your inspiration level. Are you excited about going to work or is it an obligation? You would be surprised at the number of people who choose a business that looks good on paper, but in reality does not interest them in the least. These individuals will grow weary and uninterested pretty quickly because they have no inspiration or passion to sustain them during the difficult times they will encounter as a small business owner. If you don’t really enjoy your work, then think how you can re-focus your small business to better match your needs. Or consider making a change entirely. That’s pretty drastic advice, but inspiration is that important.
2. SETTING GOALS Short and long-term goal setting is vital for any business owner. If you didn’t set goals, you would be adrift with nothing to strive for and no charted course to follow. How could you possibly be motivated if you were unsure about the direction of your company? Take the time to put your goals in writing. A business plan may sound daunting, but it is really nothing more than goals, strategies, implementation and a budget. Write your own business plan and update it at least annually. Include “mini-goals” that can be accomplished in a matter of hours, days or weeks as well as the more ambitious “grand-goals” that may take years to complete. Refer to this plan throughout the year. But can a business plan really help motivate you? Yes! Written goals will make you feel more professional and certainly more connected to your business. It will also free you from having to reinvent your business goals every single day.
3. NETWORKING Another key factor in getting and staying motivated is networking with other small business owners. One person can't move huge mountains. However, when a number of people begin working together the mountains are suddenly only small hills -- simply challenges waiting to be surmounted. In fact, the isolation of working alone is of one the most difficult parts of being an entrepreneur. Mutual support is motivating. So, make it easier on yourself by connecting with others either in your community or online. Even when businesses are not related, you will often find common ground and ways to work together. Many successful entrepreneurs report that finding the right networking group was a turning point in the growth of the business. Working together, a networking group can help its members generate more qualified sales leads and solve problems faster and more efficiently. Sharing ideas, expertise and experience is also an invaluable aspect of networking groups. And, don’t forget about sharing costs, possibly by buying in bulk or with joint marketing projects. Your own personal team of business owners will help re-energize you when the burdens of running your own business seem too much. With your networking team to rely on, you can accomplish more in less time and probably have more fun in the process. Certainly, you will feel less alone.
4. REWARD YOURSELF Small business owners will always have to work hard, but all work and no play is a huge mistake. Your motivation will soon begin to fall if you never take any time away from the demands of running the business. So, plan frequent rewards for yourself. No, it doesn’t need to be a trip to Hawaii (although this is a great idea). Your reward can be as simple as a lunch out with an old friend, a matinee with your significant other, an afternoon of shopping or a relaxing massage. If your budget and time will allow, take a few days off for a short trip or simply schedule a vacation from work for a few days. Make it a real vacation -- even if you don’t leave town -- so no checking email, voice mail or the fax machine. You need to get away, unwind and renew yourself. This “down” time to regenerate will help improve your attitude and perspective. It sounds corny, but you will come back to your business with a new sense of motivation.
5. EXERCISE While it isn’t always immediately apparent, there is a powerful connection between the mind and the body. It is vital for every small business owner to take breaks and exercise -- everyday. If your body isn’t healthy, your motivation will certainly suffer. These exercise breaks don’t have to be huge blocks of time, and you needn’t spend money joining a gym or hiring a personal trainer. Start by walking briskly for 30 minutes before, during or after work. After you have incorporated a walk each day, then try doubling the time or doing two walks each day. Whatever works for you is best, but the important thing is to start. You will begin to feel better. After the walking is part of your routine, add some basic light weights. Buy a tape or go online to find out how to properly use the weights so you won’t injure yourself. You can keep the weights under your desk, and use them for just a few minutes at a time. Buy a timer the next time you are at the grocery store. Set the timer for for three minutes to start and then add a minute or two until you’re up to 10 or 15 minutes each day. Some small business owners have a television at work and they schedule a CNN break along with their weights. This way, they are catching up with world and local news while simultaneously getting some moderate exercise.
8. ORGANIZE Organization is critical to motivation. How can you feel good about your work, when you can’t find important papers or you are constantly late returning messages? Your business will falter and your motivation will suffer. Some people just can’t get organized. If you are one of them, then consider bringing in someone -- a business friend, family member or professional -- to help you get the clutter and mess cleaned up. You will be amazed at how this one important step will help you get back on the organizational track. Don’t stop there. Now really get organized by creating business systems that will help you streamline your operations. The real challenge will be keeping yourself on track by maintaining these systems. For many, it is a daily challenge, but if you use your organizational systems you’ll be free to think about other important issues.
7. MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKERS AND AUTHORS As small business owners, it seems we are bombarded with motivational ideas and materials-- tapes, books, CD’s, seminars, workbooks, videos and more. Why are there so many different motivational products, authors and speakers? Because people are buying these materials. Used effectively, they are effective and therefore they sell! However, there are so many different motivational gurus that it is often difficult to see through the clutter to find someone that makes sense for you -- someone who can get you “fired up” about working and improving your business.
Try talking to your mentor or networking group members to see who they might recommend. Start being aware of the motivational industry and how it might help you become more enthused and positive about your business. Do some light research of your own to find some authors and speakers that interest you. Before you invest in motivational materials, you can probably find some inexpensive ways to obtain the materials. Check out your local library, tune into your local PBS station, buy materials with a networking friend, visit used bookstores or buy used materials online. Don’t make a huge investment, because you will probably want to sample many different viewpoints. But do these materials really work? Yes, but only if you make the effort. Just like exercise, you have to work the muscles -- in this case your mind muscles. It is up to you to take that information and apply it to your own life and business. Really use the motivational ideas over a period of time and you will begin to see results. KEEP THE MOMENTUM GOING Motivation is what moves us forward in our daily and business lives. Take the time to examine your motivating factors and use some of these keys to improve your focus and renew your enthusiasm. If you keep on track, the motivation momentum can’t help but carry you forward.
About the author:Nancy Wurtzel is the founder and of All About Baby, an ecommerce company that offers personalized and memorable gifts for children. In addition to a wide product selection, All About Baby also featured helpful and interesting site content. In addition to running her own business, Nancy consults with other small business owners providing advice about growing their ecommerce sites.
Please click here for more articles about motivation.
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